Snippets and Sparks

Charlie carrying two heavy grocery bags Because I'm prepping the role of Penelope in the Odyssey; guess I should try to get in some sleep at some point (just wrote on Care2.com about sleep as a "feminist issue"); am trying to get a hold on some financial and other issues for our Greece trip since my college's Study Aboard director is now gone, and……went on a late night diner date with Jim.

And because, in the midst of tough days and sweet ones, Charlie's been learning some little significant things.

I keep writing about all these walks we take around the neighborhood. These are mostly parent-(i.e., Jim and me) initiated. Charlie has started to request to "take a walk" on his own when we get out of the car and before entering the house; he's least likely to do so when it's lunch or dinner time and we've just gone to get groceries. 

Monday morning he awoke at 6.15am and, after I'd made coffee, I wrote

  • walk
  • eat
  • white car

on a piece of paper and showed it to him. "No take a walk," said Charlie. He walked into the living room and got his parka off a chair. "Take a walk."

So we did. Jim got himself ready while Charlie and I were out, I got ready when we got back and while Charlie loaded his things in the car, and Jim and Charlie dropped me off at the train station and drove off to Charlie's school. When it got noisy in his classroom, Charlie (his teacher wrote) requested to take walks and these were always honored.

I added it all up in my head: Seems like Charlie really understanding, and implementing, that:

  1. noise (especially crying or the sounds of a fellow student in distress) makes him anxious and uncomfortable
  2. he feels on the verge of being anxious and uncomfortable, and therefore liable to "have behaviors
  3. he'd better get himself somewhere else
  4. he can ask to go somewhere else
  5. he asks
  6. he gets out of the room before he feels overly anxious and uncomfortable and ends up not "having behaviors" and walks back into his classroom when things are quieter and the day proceeds without incident for him.

And perhaps Charlie's been applying all this to home, and knows that, when he's "on the verge" here, or at least feeling "on edge," he needs to get himself out and motoring? 

I guess that a bit more than a snippet!  So #2 will be brief and it might ring of "what's the big deal?". But I was tickled pink, nonetheless. We'd gone, with my mom, to get gas last night. After filling the tank, the gas station attendant slipped me my credit card through the car window which was open a couple of inches. But I missed catching the card and it fell under my seat. I kept reaching for and gave up, figuring it was certainly inside the car and I could get it at home.

My mom noticed Charlie rustling about the car floor and then saying "give Mom, give." 

And, altogether unasked, he handed me the credit card.

Little sparks of learning, I do love you.

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Comments
18 Responses to “Snippets and Sparks”
  1. emma says:

    So wonderful, honestly, I don’t no what to write. There is just such a feeling of growth running through all, I’m so glad you write all this down and share it with us.

  2. fanofyours says:

    Breathtaking!!!

  3. Regina says:

    My mom noticed Charlie rustling about the car floor and then saying “give Mom, give.”
    And, altogether unasked, he handed me the credit card.
    —————
    Surely you’re joking about “what’s the big deal?”?
    That’s super, and how very thoughtful of Charlie.
    You might have your finger on how Charlie is also managing and negotiating what to do in a disturbing situation. Good also.
    Hope you all have a good day (and I hope you aren’t too tired).

  4. Regina says:

    Sidebar related to care2.com
    as far as getting more sleep if one doesn’t have a job – I dunno about that. One of the problems, at least in my personal experience is that when one doesn’t have a job, sometimes the outside perception is that there’s tons of “spare” time – which gets filled up with commitments and “can you help me outs”. I think I got more sleep when I had a job (grin).

  5. Linda says:

    Motherly love. Today’s entry leaves me filled with joy. Lucky and beautiful son. Thanks for sharing this account of a great day.

  6. Linda says:

    Motherly love. Today’s entry leaves me filled with joy. Lucky and beautiful son. Thanks for sharing this account of a great day.

  7. Louise says:

    Charlie is making such deep internal recognitions of his own emotions, and his ability to deal with them in effective ways. What a sense of competence and success it must be give him!
    The great thing about walking is that it can be done anywhere, at any time, and needs no equipment. So he always has this coping mechanism at hand.
    But the other success is that he is cognizant of you and what you need. Picking up that credit card for you … what a small event, yet worth more than all the balm in Gilead. When he does something like that, how do you react? A simple, “Thank you, Charlie,” or something more?
    This is going to be a great year for Charlie, as the BAC seems to have become his happy-home away-from-home. What support do they give you in the summer vacation, if any?

  8. Monica says:

    “Give, Mom, give.” What a beautiful story!

  9. Monica says:

    “Give, Mom, give.” What a beautiful story!

  10. Jill says:

    Good for Charlie realizing that you needed the card and finding it successfully.
    I recently read an article about the theory that a sense of direction may be genetic. Apparently people with certain genetic disorders, including Williams Syndrome are lacking in the ability to successfully orient themselves in space and to find objects that they saw hidden in a small room after they’ve been blindfolded and spun around a couple of times.
    Charlie seems to be good at finding his way, in more ways than one!
    I hope your Greek trip is successful. All three of my kids went to Greece on school trips. They loved the islands and they said the people were very friendly. I’ve never been but it’s one of the places I’d like to visit someday.

  11. Ian MacGregor says:

    Kristina, please excuse this intrusion onto your site. I could not find a link to your email address I am trying to save a young girl’s life. Her name is Natalie Nakatani.
    http://www.hopefornatalie.com/index.php
    Natalie has Acute Myeloid Leukemia and is in desperate need of a bone marrow transplant. I am using this site because you are Asian, and might have some influence in that community. Natalie’s best chance of a match is within the East Asian community.
    Her parents Grant and Tammy, are friends and our families attend the same church. I feel a great deal of empathy for
    them. My wife and I pray everyday for a donor to be found.
    My daughter’s autism is very profound. She is however happy and healthy and while her progress has not been nearly that of Charlie’s, it has been wonderful and miraculous. I’ve personally seen the worst of autism, and I am very much for a cure, But at its worst it cannot compare with knowing your child may die
    soon.
    http://www.communitybloodservices.org/bm_register.php
    seems like a likely place to contact about donating marrow in New Jersey. I pray your readers will see where they can donate as well. Even if people are not a match for Natalie, they may save someone else’s life.
    Again please excuse this intrusion.

  12. Ian MacGregor says:

    Kristina, please excuse this intrusion onto your site. I could not find a link to your email address I am trying to save a young girl’s life. Her name is Natalie Nakatani.
    http://www.hopefornatalie.com/index.php
    Natalie has Acute Myeloid Leukemia and is in desperate need of a bone marrow transplant. I am using this site because you are Asian, and might have some influence in that community. Natalie’s best chance of a match is within the East Asian community.
    Her parents Grant and Tammy, are friends and our families attend the same church. I feel a great deal of empathy for
    them. My wife and I pray everyday for a donor to be found.
    My daughter’s autism is very profound. She is however happy and healthy and while her progress has not been nearly that of Charlie’s, it has been wonderful and miraculous. I’ve personally seen the worst of autism, and I am very much for a cure, But at its worst it cannot compare with knowing your child may die
    soon.
    http://www.communitybloodservices.org/bm_register.php
    seems like a likely place to contact about donating marrow in New Jersey. I pray your readers will see where they can donate as well. Even if people are not a match for Natalie, they may save someone else’s life.
    Again please excuse this intrusion.

  13. Niksmom says:

    “Give mom, give…” breathtaking! I’d say that was a pretty darned big deal, Kristina! Snippet, my left elbow. 😉

  14. Niksmom says:

    “Give mom, give…” breathtaking! I’d say that was a pretty darned big deal, Kristina! Snippet, my left elbow. 😉

  15. autismvox says:

    Not a problem at all, Ian. Will try to spread the word about Natalie. Thank you for mentioning her here, I feel honored.
    Charlie has 6 weeks of ESY (5 days a week) and the school days are almost as long as the regular school year’s—versus 4 weeks, 4 days a week, for 4 hours in his old school district.

  16. karen d says:

    Sounds like a big, wonderful deal to me. Fabulous!

  17. J says:

    Sooooooooooo wonderful!!

  18. Ian MacGregor says:

    God bless you Kristina!

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